


Doomsday

by rainyjaem



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Arranged Marriage, CEO’s son Mark Lee, Forbidden Love, Heavy Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Jaemin and Jeno are best friends, Jaemin and Jisung are brothers, M/M, Sad sad sad, Summer Vacation, Tired college student Na Jaemin, just two best friends longing for something they can’t have
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 07:46:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19102780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainyjaem/pseuds/rainyjaem
Summary: Mark’s entire life has been planned out for him since the age of three. He is to become the CEO of his father’s company at the age of 22, he is to marry the daughter of a very crucial business partner, and he is to always uphold the respectable reputation of his family.But Mark is tired of never doing things for himself. So, in a last desperate attempt to live his final fleeting moments of freedom to the fullest, he spends an eventful summer with none other than his best friend, Na Jaemin.





	Doomsday

**Author's Note:**

> for zey, my beautiful markmin enthusiast <3  
>  
> 
> [spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/3l356zcqiuoes7hfzh3f4xbon/playlist/2NIquSPrCoJ6KrqFZ7TDpr?si=IWk_9GQORnW2HGUfIF7rDw)

Jaemin is standing near the edge of what looks like a cliff, but below him is a black abyss. In front of him stands a blurred figure, but in Jaemin’s mind, this figure is all too familiar; someone meaningful. The figure takes a step forward, perfectly shined shoes hanging over the edge by centimeters. Jaemin opens his mouth to scream, but no sound comes out. His voice is long gone, his throat drier than the Sahara. The figure turns around to stare at Jaemin, smiling sadly before stretching his arms out and falling back, disappearing over the edge. Jaemin shrieks silently, sprinting to the edge and jumping off with no hesitation, reaching his hand out in an attempt to grab the boy. However, his desperate hand was to no avail, Jaemin’s eyes widening with fear as the boy’s distorted figure vanishes into nothingness. 

☼

Jaemin’s sleeping body jolts awake. He takes a few deep breaths and wipes the sweat from his glistening forehead. He squeezes his eyes shut and runs a shaky hand through his dampened hair, his heartbeat hammering against his rib cage. Jaemin brings trembling fingers to his cracked lips, his tongue darting out to moisten them. He swallows hard, his saliva struggling to go down his parched throat. His head is pounding and his stomach is twisting. He exhales deeply and looks over to his bedside table, already expecting what’s placed on top. A glass of water, two pills, and a neatly folded note. Jaemin sighs and grabs the water, gulping down the hangover medicine and chugging the whole glass. He slips on his metal-framed glasses and carefully unfolds the note, biting his lip.

 

**Goodmorning Minnie,**

**Had to leave early, parents called me for a press conference this morning. I left you some medicine for your hangover, and don’t forget to bring an umbrella today, it’s gonna rain. Good luck on your finals, I’ll see you in class.**

**-Mark**

 

Jaemin crumples up the note and throws it into a drawer already filled with similarly crushed pieces of paper. He slowly stands up from the bed, stretching his arms above his head and letting out a strained groan. Jaemin bends down and picks up the numerous empty soju bottles, the green stained glass sparkling in the sunlight that beams in through the slips of his window blinds. He tosses them into his trash can, he’ll take it out later, he tells himself. After tidying up his bedroom as best as he can at 7 o'clock in the morning, he flops back onto his bed, pulling his thick comforter up to his chin and grabbing the lonely pillow beside him. He squeezes it close to his chest, getting lost in the rich, calming scent radiating from the pillow case. He shuts his eyes and buries his face in it, screaming his frustrations into the pillow. Mark’s pillow. 

☼

Jaemin trudges up the steps toward the gate of his school, one hand in his pocket, one hand holding his cup of iced coffee. His headache is still very noticeable, but the medicine from earlier that morning has made it more tolerable. He smiles tiredly when he spots his friends standing in a small cluster near the gate.

“Damn Jaem, you look like shit.” Renjun points out, clinging onto Donghyuck. Jeno flicks Renjun’s ear, earning a punch to the arm in response. Jaemin chuckles lightly, brushing his fingers through his dark brown locks.

“Goodmorning to you too, Injunnie.” Jaemin replies, speech slightly slurred from his overall exhaustion. He takes a long sip of his unhealthily black coffee. 

“Seriously Jaem, are you okay? How late did Mark hyung keep you up? Doesn’t he know it's finals week?” Jeno’s tone had turned concerned, serious. Jaemin sighs for the umpteenth time that morning, shaking his head lightly. 

“Jen, I’m fine. Mark hyung had to get away from his parents for a little while, so I let him stay over.” Jaemin’s statement left no room for discussion, so his friends stayed silent. It was obvious how much the three boys worried about Jaemin and his well-being, but they also knew Jaemin was one stubborn bitch. There was no use in arguing.

The bell rings and the four boys seperate. Renjun and Donghyuck walk across campus hand-in-hand, waving goodbye to Jaemin and Jeno. Jeno shoves his hands into his pockets as he walks beside Jaemin, staring at his best friend. Jaemin rolls his eyes. 

“Jeno-ya, I’m okay. I promise.” Jaemin tries to convince Jeno, but Jeno knows his best friend better than anyone else in the world. Jeno pulls Jaemin off to the side to avoid getting pushed by hurrying students. 

“Nana, I know Mark hyung is leaving soon. Trust me, I hate it too. But you can’t keep jeopardizing your health for him. You know he doesn’t want that, Jaem. You have to take care of yourself.” Jeno reaches forward and pats down a crease on Jaemin’s button-up, looking up at him sympathetically. Jaemin blinks his eyes to rid of the lingering exhaustion, but his weary voice gives him away.

“I know Jen. It’s not healthy, but I won’t be able to see Mark after the school year ends. I have two weeks. Two more weeks until his goddamn parents take him and whatever bit of freedom he has, away. So, if losing hours of sleep means I get to hold him in my arms for just a bit longer, it’s worth it.” Jaemin wipes at his eyes, letting out a long exhale. Jeno stares at Jaemin with sad eyes for a few seconds before nodding understandingly.

“Okay Jaem. I worry because I love you, you know that. I’ll see you at lunch okay?” Jeno wipes at Jaemin’s cheeks as one stray tear falls. Jaemin smiles softly, leaving a chaste kiss on Jeno’s forehead before walking to his lecture. 

☼

Jaemin shuffles to his foreign languages class, slightly more energetic than earlier. He smiles widely when he spots a certain boy with a black head of hair seated in the top row of their lecture hall. Jaemin quickly walks to his seat next to said boy, and drops his bag on the floor. 

“Hi Minnie.” Mark says softly, his small teeth showing through his gentle smile. Jaemin nearly melts at his voice and the adorable pet name only reserved for Mark, as if he doesn’t hear it everyday. 

“Hey hyung, how was the press conference?” Mark sighs deeply and shakes his head, brushing his black fringe out of his face.

“Same as always, boring. I didn’t say anything, just had to sit there and look pretty for Mommy and Daddy.” Mark chuckles bitterly, shaking his head again. Jaemin places his elbow on the table and holds his head up with his hand. For some godforsaken reason, Jaemin asks a question he knows will have a painful answer.

“Was Minyoung there?” Mark visibly gulps, face draining of all color. Just as expected, Jaemin regrets it.

“Of course she was. Our parents were announcing our wedding details to the reporters.” Jaemin winces visibly, the word ‘wedding’ stabbing his fragile heart for the millionth time, and he can feel the tears starting to form in his eyes. Jaemin clears his throat and sniffles hard, wiping his nose. Mark looks at him, worried and confused. 

“Allergies.” Jaemin tries, and he knows Mark isn’t buying it. But Mark doesn’t ask. Mark never asks. 

☼

The rest of the class goes by painstakingly slow, but Jaemin doesn’t mind. This is the only time Jaemin gets to see Mark, besides the unexpected visits at two in the morning and the very rare group hangout. Today, the class was assigned an interactive project, meaning partner work. Jaemin loves partner work because it usually meant the two were required to speak to each other for the entirety of the class. Mark chews on the tip of his pen as he reads over the article and directions. Jaemin takes the opportunity to admire Mark in a not-so-friendly-way, but Mark never has to know that.

Mark’s gorgeous black hair is styled down, more casual. He’s clad in an extraordinarily lavish button up shirt and expensive skinny jeans. His shirt has one button undone, revealing a sliver of his pale, tempting collarbones. His white sneakers are designer and spotless, adding to the overall clean and effortlessly captivating look. A luxurious gold rolex clings to his slender wrist, and he’s wearing a few simple (yet still extremely costly) rings. A thin gold chain lies beautifully over Mark’s collarbones and disappears under the white button up. Jaemin gulps.

It was so painfully obvious that Jaemin was in love with Mark, that it astonished Jeno and the others that Mark had no clue. But it was better this way. They had to stay friends, and they could never be more than that. Jaemin is reminded of that every morning he wakes up to an empty bed and a note. Jaemin is reminded of that every time he sees a social media post about _“Lee Minhyung, son of Lee Minsuk and Lee Seohyun, to be married to Park Minyoung on the 22nd of November, 2019. An arranged marriage to merge companies Lee Incorporated and Park Industries, two of the largest companies in the world!”_

And yet, Jaemin still stares at Mark as if he is the only person in the world, the only person that can fill the enlarging hole in Jaemin’s heart, despite being the cause of it. Jaemin still caresses Mark’s trembling body as he stands in the doorway of Jaemin’s apartment in the middle of the night, overwhelmed and anxious. Jaemin still drives to the convenience store at three in the morning to buy cheap beer and bottles of soju, just to calm Mark down. Jaemin still kisses Mark’s forehead, cheeks, and neck as he sleeps peacefully underneath Jaemin’s bed sheets. But they can never be more than friends, Jaemin tells himself. He repeats those words to himself like a mantra, as if reminding himself of the beautiful grenade that is Mark Lee, will somehow minimize the casualties. 

☼

The professor shuts off the projector and the classroom is filled with the shuffling of excited students packing their supplies and scurrying out of the classroom, free for the summer. Jaemin had just completed his journalism final, and he could care less about the grade, he never fails anyways. He slides his bag over his shoulders and slips his hands into his pockets, shuffling across the courtyard. His shoulders are permanently slumped, back permanently slouched, hair permanently unstyled, lips permanently chapped, and eyes permanently tired. All side effects of being in love with someone you can never and will never have.

Jeno exits a classroom, only a few feet in front of Jaemin. When he sees his best friend, his eyes turn to crescents and his teeth shine brightly.

“Hi Nana, how did your finals go?” Jeno walks up to Jaemin, slinging an arm around his shoulders. Jaemin smiles gently at the enthusiasm and affection.

“Fine. They weren’t that hard.” Jaemin shrugs, blowing a piece of hair out of his face.

“You are such a lucky bastard. I can’t believe you’ve never failed, yet you’ve never studied a day in your life!” Renjun complains, skipping up behind the two, followed by Donghyuck.

“And yet here I am, studying my ass off just to scrape by my classes. If I didn’t get an A on that music theory final, I might have to change my major!” Donghyuck huffs, crossing his arms. Renjun coos at him and plays with his hair, clinging onto his arm. Donghyuck scrunches his nose and pecks Renjun’s cheek. 

Jeno chuckles, waving them off. “At least it’s summer! No more late night cramming and early morning lectures. We should throw a pool party to celebrate!” Jeno suggests, and Renjun claps enthusiastically.

“Only if I’m invited!” The four boys turn their heads at the deep voice. Jaemin smiles a genuine smile when he spots Jisung, Chenle jumping behind him. 

“Jisung-ah!” Jaemin pulls Jisung in for a tight hug, inhaling the familiar scent of his little brother. “When did you get home?”

Jisung pulls back and smiles, wrapping a slender arm around Chenle’s shoulder. “Last night. Chenle and I took the last flight home. Also, when did you move out?” Jisung asks as Jeno, Renjun and Donghyuck pull the two boys in for a hug. 

Jaemin scratches the back of his neck, smiling sheepishly. “Ah, around Christmas time. I needed more privacy so I got a job and moved out as soon as I could afford an apartment. Mom and dad still visit often tho!” Jaemin was beaming. He hasn’t seen Jisung since Chuseok, and Jaemin missed his annoying little brother that would always tag along.

During Jisung’s second year of highschool, he met Chenle, their new foreign exchange student. The two easily clicked and fell head over heels for each other, and Jaemin couldn’t have been happier. However, he would be lying if he said it didn’t completely shatter his heart when Jisung announced he wasn’t going to university, and that he was moving to China with Chenle to pursue his dancing career abroad. But he was proud of him nonetheless. Jaemin was ecstatic that Jisung could still be with Chenle, even under their circumstances. At least one Na brother would get to be with the love of their life. 

☼

The six boys walk to the nearest cafe and sit down, engaging in another conversation. Donghyuck and Renjun sit disgustingly close to each other, literally attached at the hip. Jeno sits beside them and across from Jaemin, Chenle, and Jisung. Jaemin pokes his sandwich with a fork, only half listening to Chenle’s chattering. Jisung, Donghyuck, Chenle, and Renjun break off into their own conversation about the latest video games, and Jeno taps Jaemin’s shin under the table. 

Jaemin looks up at him with questioning yet tired eyes, and Jeno sighs knowingly. “Have you spoken to him since the graduation?” Jaemin averts his gaze and chews on his lip anxiously.

“No.” Jaemin mumbles. Mark is a year ahead of the rest of them, and two years ahead of Chenle. The four boys attended Mark’s graduation a week ago, and that was the last time Jaemin saw him. Jaemin gave him a brief hug after the ceremony, and then he was pulled away by one of his father’s many secretary’s and pushed into a limousine, taking him god knows where. 

Jaemin stands up abruptly, cutting off Chenle’s speech. He bows apologetically, pulling out his wallet and placing a few bills on the table. “I don’t have an appetite, I’m sorry. I’ll talk to you guys later.” 

Jeno, Renjun, and Donghyuck look up at him knowingly, Jeno visibly disappointed. “Okay, Nana. Text us if you need us, okay?” Donghyuck offers him a small smile, and Jaemin thanks him silently. Jaemin pinches Jisung’s cheek adoringly before grabbing his iced coffee and exiting the cafe.

He walks for a few blocks, taking sharp and rapid breaths. He can feel a panic attack coming, so he turns a corner and stops in an alleyway. Jaemin crouches down, placing his coffee on the concrete. He curls into himself, allowing his tears to fall freely. He lets out a strained sob, clenching his chest as he begins to hyperventilate. He throws his head back in frustration and pain, allowing himself to crumble, bit by bit. 

After a few minutes, his attention-drawing sobs turn to small sniffles and silent tears. He sits with his back against the wall of a random building, one arm propped up on his knee. He laughs bitterly, his mouth tasting sour. It was pathetic how torn up Jaemin was over Mark, when Mark was barely phased by the fact that his entire life is already planned out for him. 

“Minnie?” Speak of the devil. Jaemin looks up, eyes red and puffy. “Minnie, what happened? Are you okay?” an extremely concerned Mark crouches by his side, running his hands all over his body, scanning for any injuries.

Jaemin gently pushes Mark’s wandering hands away, sitting up straighter. “Hyung, hyung, I’m fine. I just needed to sit down for a bit.” Mark gives Jaemin a frustrated yet worried look, standing up. Mark reaches his hand out, asking no further questions. Jaemin grabs his hand without hesitation, and is pulled up off the ground. Mark pats the dirt off of Jaemin’s butt and chooses to ignore the sudden blush forming on Jaemin’s cheeks. 

“Where have you been?” Jaemin wonders, clearing his throat in embarrassment. Mark sighs and grabs Jaemin’s hand effortlessly, intertwining their fingers. The two boys begin walking down the street before the older boy answers.

“Planning the wedding, discussing business plans with my father. He was counting down the days to my graduation, doesn’t want to waste any time in handing over the company to me.” Mark snaps in annoyance. Jaemin’s eyes return to their saddened, tired state. 

“How come you aren’t at home right now?” Jaemin mutters, swinging their locked hands back and forth slightly. Mark is silent for a few seconds, contemplating his answer carefully.

“I told them all the business talk was making me tired, so they let me go get some air.” Mark decided that was a safe enough answer.

“They don’t know you’re with me, I assume?” It was more of a statement than a question. Mark nods slowly. Jaemin lets go of Mark’s hand and turns to him. 

“Go home, hyung. You aren’t supposed to be sneaking around, and especially not with me.” Jaemin was too tired and his heart was still too sensitive from his previous breakdown to be able to deal with this. Mark flashes a look of hurt for a split second, before his composed and cold mask returns. 

“Minnie, don’t be like this…” Mark mumbles, caressing Jaemin’s cheek. Jaemin closes his eyes and clenches his jaw, reveling in the gentle, affectionate touch. He opens his eyes and gains his last bit of self control, retreating from Mark’s hand.

_“Go home.”_ is the last thing Jaemin says before he turns his back to Mark and begins walking down the street.

Jaemin hates the way Mark makes him feel. He hates the way he melts into Mark’s touch, he hates the way Mark can control his every move, every word, just by existing. Jaemin hates the way he’s so in love with Mark, that he is constantly suffering because of him. He hates the way Mark shows no signs of distress over Jaemin. He fucking _hates_ being in love with someone he can never and will never have. 

But what Jaemin doesn’t see, is the minute he turns his back to Mark, Mark’s own tears slowly begin to spill.

☼

Jaemin allows the steaming water to run down his back, the heat relieving his sore muscles. He closes his eyes, exhaustion washing over him much like the water currently soaking his hair, and he stays in the shower for what seems like hours. After nearly falling to the ground in lassitude, Jaemin finally decides to step out, water droplets collecting at the tips of his brown locks. He grabs a towel and wraps it around himself, reaching for a smaller one to ruffle his hair. He laughs at the mess atop his head, and exits his small bathroom.

As he’s walking over towards his closet, a frantic knock interrupts the silence of Jaemin’s tranquil night. Confused, Jaemin shuffles over to his door, peeking through the peephole. His eyes widen and he scurries around his room for some clothes. He opts for a random pair of grey sweatpants that are two sizes too large, too panicky to find a suitable top as the knocks increase with fervor. He rushes back over to the door and takes a deep breath before opening it. 

“Minnie..” Mark’s voice sounds strained and his gaze travels up and down Jaemin’s body, eyes lingering on the way his sweatpants hang low on his hips, prominent v-line peeking out.

“Mark? What are you doing here?” Jaemin interrupts Mark’s thoughts, and he blushes lightly. Mark looks up at him with wide eyes and steps inside, despite Jaemin’s lack of an invitation. Jaemin sighs, closing the door behind him. He shoves his hands in his pockets, and stares at Mark expectantly. The elder looks distressed and tired, eye’s heavy and dark, his usual composure nowhere to be found. It takes a few seconds, and then mark mumbles, “Let’s go somewhere.” 

Jaemin’s forehead creases in confusion, and he takes a few steps toward Mark. “Uhm...okay, we can go to the park or something?” Jaemin suggests, but Mark shakes his head furiously. “No, I mean somewhere further. I don't want to be in Seoul.” Jaemin pulls Mark in by his waist, and places a warm hand on his carved cheekbone.

“Hyung, what are you talking about?” Jaemin inquires gently. Mark closes his eyes and pushes into Jaemin’s hand, placing his on top. “Will you go to Sokcho with me?” Mark looks up at Jaemin, desperation in his round eyes. Jaemin steps back, uncertainty evident on his face.

“Sokcho is two and a half hours away, hyung. That’s an awful lot of travelling for a day trip.” Mark shakes his head, hands fiddling with his large sweater paws. “Not a day trip. Come with me to Sokcho this summer. We can spend two months together, please Minnie. I need to be with you, just you, for as long as possible before...before-”

“I know.” Jaemin saves both boys from the awkward tension. Something inside Jaemin doesn’t sit right, and he can’t help but let out his frustrations. 

“But hyung, we-, _you_ can’t just run off for two months, let alone to Sokcho! Why on earth would your parents allow you to go anywhere outside of Seoul, and for what? A summer vacation? Please, let’s be realistic here. We’re from two different worlds, Mark. You belong here, in Seoul, under your parents watchful eye, being the dutiful and respectable Lee Minhyung. What would people think if they found out the son of the most successful CEO in all of Korea ran off to some city with a meaningless boy, who’s pathetically trying to cling onto someone he’ll never have…” Jaemin lets out a shaky breath, trying to regain what little composure he has. 

“Jaemin-”

_“Leave._ You told me before that you would probably never see me after graduation, so I don’t understand why you’re still here. I’ve been trying to prepare myself, and you’re making it harder.” Jaemin looks up at a wide-eyed Mark with a glossy stare, and Mark crumbles in defeat. “I’m sorry.” he whispers, and brushes past Jaemin on his way to the door. Before stepping out of Jaemin’s apartment, Mark turns to him.

“I’m going to Sokcho regardless. I _need_ to live out my last moments of freedom, but I’d prefer to spend them with you. I told my parents that Minyoung and I were going on a trip to get to know each other better before the wedding, so they won’t suspect anything. Minyoung is spending this summer with her boyfriend, kind’ve as a goodbye for her as well. She’s the one that encouraged me to take you. I won’t ever force you to do anything, you know that, but I would really love to spend these last moments with you, Minnie. I’ll be at the park near our school at 8am, and I’ll wait half an hour. Please, just consider it. And if you don’t show up, then…” Mark releases his strong grip on the doorknob and walks back to face Jaemin. He reaches up and caresses Jaemin’s bottom lip with his thumb. He leans in, placing an electrifying kiss on Jaemin’s cheek, desperation swimming in his saddening gaze. A tear slips out of Jaemin’s longing eyes, and Mark presses their foreheads together.

“Then goodbye, Jaemin.” and Mark walks out of Jaemin’s apartment for the last time, too heartbroken to spare him a single glance. 

☼

**“Nana, you have to go! I know you’ll regret it if you don’t. The guys and I can survive two months without you Jae, but this may be your last chance to spend time with him for god knows how long.”**

Jaemin is laying across his bed and drags his hands down his face in frustration, letting out a groan as Jeno drones on through speakerphone. 

**“You said he’s gonna be there at 8 right? That means you have roughly 4 hours, so why am I not hearing any packing?”**

“Jen, you’re supposed to be stopping me, not encouraging me! You’re saying I should go on a two month trip, with my best friend of whom I’m madly in love with, that’ll only end in heartbreak?” 

The line goes silent for a few seconds. 

**“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying!”**

Jaemin can hear the smile in Jeno’s voice, and he can’t help but chuckle in slight amusement and disbelief. “I can’t believe you right now.”

**“And I can’t believe you’re still wallowing in despair on your bed instead of getting your ass up and packing a damn suitcase!”**

Jaemin gasps in mock offense, sitting up and crossing his arms, glaring at the phone despite the fact that Jeno can’t see him. “What makes you think I’m ‘wallowing in despair?’ Maybe I’m doing just fine!” Jaemin doesn’t even try to sound convincing.

**“Nana, I’m your best friend. We’ve known each other since we were twelve, and you only ever call me when you’re distressed.”**

Jeno states matter-of-factly. Jaemin sees no point in arguing, so he stands up and searches underneath his bed for his large suitcase. Jeno is right, he would regret not going, and the result would be the same regardless, so he might as well make the most of it. Jeno can hear all of Jaemin’s shuffling, so he assumes their conversation will soon be over.

**“Well, I’ll leave you alone to pack. Try to get some rest soon, okay? Text me in the morning, everything is gonna be okay Nana. I love you..”**

“Uh huh, love you too Jen. Bye.” Jaemin mumbles as he starts packing, and Jeno hangs up. Jaemin takes a deep breath and checks the clock. 3:45am. He decides not to waste anymore time and begins gathering his clothes and toiletries. As he starts packing his things, he wonders how he’s going to cope with the loss of his best friend after their two months is up. Honestly, Jaemin isn’t even sure if he will be able to cope. 

☼

Mark leans against his ridiculously expensive car, arms crossed in an attempt to calm his rapid heart. He looks at his sparkling gold watch for the umpteenth time, biting his lip as the little hand continues to tick away. “Come on Minnie…” Mark mumbles to himself, shoving his anxious hands into his pocket. He closes his eyes and leans his head back, allowing the slight breeze of the fresh summer morning flow through his perfectly trimmed hair. He only reopens them when he hears the sound of plastic scraping against the rough asphalt.

“Hey.” Mark’s entire body floods with relief when he hears that honey-sweet voice. He wastes no time, stomping toward Jaemin and pulling him into a bone-crushing embrace. “Hyung, I can’t breathe.” Jaemin strains out, patting Mark’s back in amusement.

“You asshole, I thought you weren’t going to show up!” Mark slaps Jaemin’s arm weakly, eyes softening when Jaemin’s blinding smile spreads across his face. “I made it in time, didn’t I?” Jaemin raises his eyebrows inquisitively, giggling gently when Mark looks back at him with dissatisfaction. Mark huffs. “I suppose so.” He grabs Jaemin’s large black suitcase, his body jolting when their fingers brush against each other, and rolls it to his trunk, swiftly lifting it up and positioning it.

“Wow, you’ve gotten so strong Markie.” Jaemin teases, and Mark sticks his tongue out, walking to the passenger side door and opening it for Jaemin. Jaemin mumbles out a shy thank you, and climbs in. 

Once inside the car, Mark hands Jaemin the aux and watches fondly as his face lights up, scrolling through his playlist. 

The music deems insignificant however, the chill beat being drowned out by their voices. The two have been driving for roughly half an hour, and they had just finished discussing a very heated topic on their favorite musicians. Jaemin sighs contently when the two fall into a comfortable silence. Mark focuses on the road ahead, one hand on the steering wheel, one resting on his thigh. Jaemin reaches out and slips his fingers between Mark’s before his conscience can convince him otherwise. Mark looks over at Jaemin with a tender smile, squeezing Jaemin’s hand to help dispel the doubtful look on his face. Jaemin’s cheeks bloom a light pink, and he looks out the window at the passing scenery. 

Eventually, the gentle hum of the engine and the smooth vibrations of tires on endless asphalt lulls Jaemin to sleep. He drifts off with Mark’s hand still in his own. 

☼

“Minnie,” Mark gently shakes Jaemin awake, smiling when Jaemin’s large eyes flutter open. He looks unbelievably adorable like this, and he wants nothing more than to pepper his face in kisses to awaken him. He reaches across Jaemin’s lap and unbuckles his seatbelt. Jaemin gets a whiff of Mark’s exorbitant cologne, and exhales calmly. When Jaemin doesn't budge, the sleep still tugging on his eyelids, Mark chuckles airily and pulls him out of the car. Jaemin groans and Mark crouches down, Jaemin easily falling onto his back. “Come on sleepyhead.” Mark stands up with his arms hooked around Jaemin’s knees, and Jaemin’s arms slide around his neck. Mark shuffles inside the house, tapping Jaemin’s thigh to get him to open his eyes. Jaemin finally opens his eyes, immediately widening them in complete awe. Mark places Jaemin on his feet, standing back to admire Jaemin as he adjusts to his surroundings.

“Oh my god…” Jaemin whispers, head tilting back when he looks up at the obnoxiously high ceiling. The chandelier above him twinkles, the spotless floors below him shine, the luxurious furniture around him leaves him breathless. “Hyung, where are we?” Jaemin finally turns his attention back to the just as opulent boy, who is standing at the front door, smiling widely. 

“My beach house.” Mark says simply, rolling their luggage to the grand staircase. Mark walks over to the glass back door, sliding it open and Jaemin gasps. The door opens directly to the beach, and Jaemin closes his eyes when a cool sea breeze rushes into the house. Mark looks up at Jaemin, eyes glistening in admiration.

“Wanna go for a swim?” Mark suggests, leaning against the door. Jaemin smirks and claps his hands excitedly. “Give me a few minutes? I just want to freshen up.” Mark nods his head and gestures toward the stairs. “Your room is the first one on the right.” Jaemin smiles softly and walks to the stairs as Mark walks out toward the beach. 

Jaemin heaves his suitcase up the glass steps and takes a few moments to appreciate the equally extravagant second floor. He opens the double doors to his bedroom, and squeals in pure joy. He skips over to the king-sized bed and flops down on the fluffy bed. He gapes up at the high ceiling, covering his eyes as he giggles out in disbelief. 

After washing his face, applying another layer of cologne, and changing into swim trunks, he finally makes his way back downstairs. He sighs in content when his feet meet the warm sound outside, and his heart swells when he sees Mark lying near the shoreline. He makes his way over to the stunning boy, plopping down beside him.

Mark opens his eyes and smiles up at Jaemin, pulling him into his arms. Jaemin kisses Mark’s forehead, and the two stay wrapped up in each others arms for a few minutes. “Let’s go, the water is nice and warm!” Mark sits up abruptly, grabbing a sleepy Jaemin’s arms and tugging him up, despite his protests.

Jaemin tries not to gasp when Mark grabs the hem of his shirt and pulls it off gracefully, his toned body nearly glistening in the sunlight. Mark raises his eyebrows after Jaemin stares for much longer than intended, and Jaemin’s ears turn red. Mark turns his back to him with a smirk and walks up to the water, eventually diving in. 

“Get it together Jaemin!” He mumbles to himself, pulling his own shirt off and waddling up to the shoreline. He dips his toe into an upcoming wave, immediately retreating back further when a shiver runs through his body. “You said it was warm!” Jaemin shouts to Mark, who is currently shaking excess water from his black locks. “Aw come on Minnie, just get in, come swim with me!” Mark shouts back, a convincing pout on his lips. The pout was enough to draw Jaemin knees deep into the cold ocean. He wraps his arms around himself in an attempt to provide more body heat, but a particularly strong wave that is in the process of receding sweeps Jaemin off of his feet and he crashes into the blue water. 

Mark cackles loudly and trudges up to a spluttering Jaemin. Jaemin struggles against the waves and sits up, entire body ice cold. He coughs and spits out the salty water, teeth chattering loudly. Mark coos at him and pulls him up, wrapping his strong arms around Jaemin’s shaking body without hesitation. Despite the freezing water, Mark’s body is incredibly warm, but maybe that’s just the blush crawling up Jaemin’s neck as he feels every inch of Mark’s body against his, the water causing whatever fabric is left on the two boys to cling to their skin.

“Okay babe, let’s get you inside. We can try swimming another time.” Mark giggles and helps Jaemin walk back to the warm sand, arms still wrapped firmly around Jaemin’s torso. Mark jogs up to their towels and starts drying Jaemin off, ruffling his hair. Jaemin almost whines at the shiver he feels with the lack of Mark’s body heat. Jaemin waves him off and grabs the towel from him, pulling it taught around his body. Mark grabs his own towel and wraps it around his waist, and the two walk back into the glorious house. 

“Why don’t you go take a warm shower, and I’ll make us some lunch, okay?” Mark caresses Jaemin’s chin briefly, then turns and walks over to the kitchen. Jaemin, momentarily stunned, scoffs happily and skips up the stairs.

☼

“It’s really delicious, thank you hyung.” Jaemin chews on his sandwich, the satisfaction of a full stomach making him feel warm inside. “You’re welcome Minnie. So, what would you like to do for the rest of the afternoon?” Mark asks as he crunches on his bread. “Hmm, we could-” Jaemin sneezes abruptly, and Mark chuckles. His eyebrows furrow in light concern when Jaemin rubs his head. “I think the water may have been a bit too cold for you. Go rest on the couch for a bit, love.” Mark recommends thoughtfully, but Jaemin shakes his head. “No, I don’t want to waste anytime with you. I’m okay.” And Jaemin sneezes again. “Jaemin, go get some rest. We have all summer together.” Mark replies, standing up from the table. He pets Jaemin’s hair lovingly and pinches his cheek, collecting their dishes and walking back into the kitchen. 

Jaemin sighs in defeat and shuffles over to the lavish couch, sinking into the incredibly plush cushions. He wraps himself in the throw blanket and curls into himself, the sleep easily overcoming him. 

☼

Jaemin’s eyes flutter open, squinting slightly as they adjust to his bright surroundings. A quiet knock on the door causes him to sit up and stretch his arms. “Come in?” Jaemin’s voice is deep and raspy from the hours of sleep.

Mark shuffles in with a smile and a large tray of breakfast. “Well goodmorning sleeping beauty, do you feel better today?” The mattresses sinks down when Mark joins him on the bed. “Yeah. How long was I asleep? I could’ve sworn I fell asleep on the couch…” Jaemin looks around and recognizes this as his bedroom.

Mark smiles shyly and pushes his round glasses up the bridge of his nose. “You slept for about 18 hours, which I will never understand how you’re capable of that.” Mark places the tray of breakfast on Jaemin’s lap. “And, I carried you up here before I went to sleep.”

Jaemin looks up at Mark with suspicion and Mark chuckles. “I ordered it. You know the only thing I can make is a sandwich, and sometimes I screw that up too.” Jaemin giggles and takes a bite of his meal, nearly moaning at how delicious it is. He was starving after the lack of a proper meal the day before.

“I’m sorry for sleeping so long, I kinda ruined our first day huh?” Jaemin pouts guiltily, but Mark shakes his head and taps his nose. “It doesn’t matter what we do, as long as I have you with me, I’m happy.” Jaemin blushes and pushes Mark’s teasing face away. “Fucking sap.” He scoffs amusingly and continues to eat. “Mhm, love you too Minnie. I’ll meet you downstairs when you’re done.” Mark stands up from the bed and exits the room, leaving Jaemin in an overwhelmingly joyous state.

☼

**ONE MONTH LATER**

“You’ve got to be kidding me! That’s impossible!” Jaemin groans in frustration, but Mark laughs in his face. Jaemin had just lost his twelfth game of chess in a row. “Seriously, how do you keep doing that?” Jaemin stares at the board quizzically. After hearing no response from the older boy, Jaemin looks up at him. 

Mark is heavily lost in thought, his eyes fixed on the crashing waves. The constant push and pull of the water sends Mark into a dazed state. The slight orange sheen on the ocean due to the setting sun intrigues him. Jaemin places a warm hand on top of his, drawing him back to reality. 

“You okay?” Jaemin questions with concern, gentle eyes scanning over Mark’s gorgeously sculpted features. “Just thinking.” Mark mumbles, returning his gaze to the shoreline. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Jaemin mutters, hand tightening over Mark’s. Mark sighs and lays down on their large beach towel, the sand beneath them warming his tense body. Jaemin lies beside him, head turned to watch Mark close his eyes gracefully. Jaemin smiles faintly as his gaze travels over Mark’s golden face. 

The way his cheekbones seem to sparkle in the last bits of sunlight, the way his ears are slightly turned forward, the way his small mole begs to be kissed. All features Jaemin has memorized over the past years. A few minutes of silence pass between the boys, until Mark finally decides to speak.

“I don’t want to go home.” Mark whispers, his voice barely audible over the breeze and the splash of water. “I hate business so much Jaemin. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life sitting at a damn desk, I don’t want to marry a woman I barely know.” Mark turns his head to stare into Jaemin’s warm brown eyes. He brings a cold hand to Jaemin’s cheek, caressing it with the back of his fingers. Jaemin closes his eyes, a single tear collecting on his long eyelashes. 

“I don’t want to leave you.” Mark’s voice cracks, and the tension Jaemin has felt for the past 4 years becomes too great. The desire burning in his chest has been growing since high school, and Jaemin is tired of extinguishing it. 

Jaemin sits up and Mark looks up at him with curiosity. Jaemin places his hand on the other side of Mark’s face, caging him. The setting sun casts an ethereal glow over Jaemin’s figure, and Mark doesn’t think he’s ever seen something so beautiful. There is no resentment or hesitation in Mark’s eyes, so Jaemin finally, after years of longing, after years of _dreaming_ , closes the distance.

Their worlds collide along with their hungry lips. Their lips slip together in all the right ways, and Jaemin feels as if the final piece of a puzzle has just been placed. Mark wraps his arms around Jaemin’s neck and pulls him closer while Jaemin runs a burning hand up Mark’s side. 

Mark sighs against Jaemin’s scorching touch, and his mouth opens slightly, allowing Jaemin entrance. Jaemin’s tongue explores Mark’s mouth desperately, and he can’t help but moan against the much wanted intrusion. Mark let’s go of any remaining self control and drags his teeth along Jaemin’s bottom lip, kissing harder when he hears Jaemin whimper. 

The feverish, desperate kiss begins to slow down, their lips gently gliding over one another. Jaemin’s tongue slides across Mark’s teeth to the rhythm of the crashing waves, and Mark pulls him impossibly closer. He fists Jaemin’s loose shirt, wanting nothing more than to yank it off of him. 

Their mouths are unexplored galaxies, and this kiss is an explosion of stars. It feels as if they’ve waited centuries to experience something as life-altering as this. Jaemin has come to the conclusion that he would experience a million deaths, suffer every hardship known to mankind, if it meant he could feel Mark’s desirous fingers running through his hair and his electrifying mouth pressed firmly against his own.

Mark has lived his entire life with the sole purpose of pleasing those around him. His life has never truly belonged to him, nothing ever felt genuine. But lying by the golden seaside, sand dusting his hair, Jaemin hovering over him, will be the only _genuine_ thing Mark could ever hope to experience. 

After what felt like hours of kissing, the two indulging in each other’s fantasies, they begin to shiver. The sun is long gone, instead replaced by a luminous moon, twinkling stars, and a harsh night chill. Jaemin pulls away, and Mark resists the urge to whine and chase after him. Jaemin is breathless as he stares down at Mark, face fully flushed, lips red and swollen, eyes holding constellations within them. Jaemin’s smile shines brighter than the moon above.

“It’s getting cold, shall we head inside?” Mark is astonished at how nonchalant Jaemin sounds after just making out with the guy he’s been in love with for years. He nods shyly, and Jaemin stands up, pulling Mark up with him. They shake out the towel and walk back inside, hand in hand. 

“I’ll start on dinner, do you want to light the fireplace?” Jaemin pulls Mark in by his waist, a new found confidence taking over. Mark blushes under Jaemin’s strong gaze, pecking his nose lightly. “Sure.” Mark giggles airily and pulls away. Jaemin sighs in pure contentment and turns on his heels, making his way to the kitchen. 

Jaemin stirs the pot of pasta sauce, brows furrowed in concentration. Suddenly, he feels strong arms wrap around his waist and a warm chest press against his back. 

“You’re gonna get wrinkles if you keep doing that with your face Minnie.” Mark mumbles into Jaemin’s ear. Jaemin’s stirring stops abruptly, and Mark squeals when Jaemin turns around and lifts him up. Mark wraps his arms around Jaemin’s torso, diving in for a kiss.

Jaemin places Mark on the counter, giggling when Mark traps him inside his legs, preventing him from returning to the stove. Jaemin kisses Mark deeply, Mark whining lightly. His limbs become limp, and Jaemin takes the opportunity to quickly skip back to his pasta sauce. Mark huffs and crosses his arms needily.

Jaemin’s laugh is angelic, making it hard for Mark to keep a pout. “Go set the table beautiful, foods almost done.” Mark hops off the counter, kissing Jaemin’s cheek and grabbing the priceless china. Jaemin shakes his head amusingly, turning off the heat. 

☼

“So Minyoung has a boyfriend, huh?” Mark looks up from his spaghetti, pausing his chewing for a few seconds. Mark clears his throat and dabs his mouth with his cloth napkin. “Mhm, his name is Jaehyun. They’ve been dating since high school, she’s ending things after their vacation. He always tried to oppose the marriage.” Mark’s voice sounds distant, almost _bored._

Jaemin frowns. “God, that’s awful, imagine how heartbroken they are…” He mutters, both sympathetic and understanding. Mark resumes his eating, shrugging his shoulders. 

“Eh, it is what it is. It’s just business.” Mark props his head up with his elbow, spinning noodles with his fork.

“Mark, they’re clearly in love, and their breakup is ‘just business’?” Jaemin asks, slightly offended. Mark snaps his eyes up, confused.

“I mean come on Minnie, her father is just like mine, she knew this would happen eventually. Why are you so concerned about Minyoung all of a sudden? It’s her fault for trying to have a relationship that’ll ultimately end in heartbreak-” Mark tries to explain, but Jaemin cuts him off when he stands up from the table.

“I’ve lost my appetite. Goodnight Mark.” Jaemin retorts, already on his way to the staircase. “Minnie wait! What’s wrong? We were having such a great night...” Mark grabs his hand, genuine confusion in his eyes. For a split second, Jaemin considers pulling him in for a hug and spending the rest of the night in his arms. 

But Mark was right, whatever _this_ was, will ultimately end in heartbreak.

Jaemin sighs, sadness and exhaustion washing over him, a feeling that had disappeared the day he got here. He walks up to his room without another word, leaving a stunned and concerned Mark behind. 

☼

Jaemin tosses and turns in his pitch black room, the sound of an oncoming storm disturbing him even further. His mind is racing and his heart feels heavy, he wants nothing more than to disappear. When the first boom of thunder and the first strike of lightning flashes outside his huge glass windows, he can’t help but shriek and pull the covers over his head. His heart beats rapidly and his body trembles. Ever since he was a child, he’s had a tremendous fear of storms. He remembers climbing into Jisung’s bed despite him being the younger sibling, and Jisung would always wrap his arms around Jaemin’s anxious body. He misses Jisung right now.

The second clap of thunder is significantly louder than the last one, and Jaemin cries out in fear. Not even a second later, he hears his bedroom door swing open, and before Jaemin can take another breath, another body is climbing underneath the sheets. 

“Shhh, shh. I’m here Minnie, I’m here.” Mark pulls him into his arms, all of Jaemin’s previous doubts and frustrations dissipating instantly. Mark rubs soothing circles on Jaemin’s back, pressing gentle kissing all across his face. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t come right away, I was sleeping.” Mark sounds guilty, and he tightens his arms. Jaemin’s eyes are still squeezed shut but his body feels less tense, he feels safe in Mark’s arms. “It’s okay.” He mumbles, fisting Mark’s shirt tightly when another bolt of lightning strikes. Mark caresses his face, coaxing the shuddering boys’ eyes open.

“Look at me angel.” Mark demands gently, searching for Jaemin’s large eyes in the darkness of the room. Mark quickly turns and flicks on a lamp. “You see me, yeah?” Jaemin nods. “Just look at me baby, okay?” Mark starts massaging Jaemin’s scalp, the younger mewling under his touch. 

Jaemin yelps at another crash of thunder, curling into Mark further. Mark’s heart breaks at his incredibly vulnerable state. Jaemin gasps and snaps his eyes open when he hears Mark humming a familiar tune.

_“You don't know babe, when you hold me and kiss me slowly, it's the sweetest thing.”_ Mark’s deep and smooth voice sings airily, fingers still playing with Jaemin’s soft hair. Jaemin starts to relax, Mark’s voice always being one of Jaemin’s most cherished blessings. 

_“And it don't change, if I had it my way, you would know that you are…”_ Mark smiles lovingly when Jaemin stares at him with the utmost affection. 

_“You're the coffee that I need in the morning, you're my sunshine in the rain when it's pouring, won't you give yourself to me, give it all, ohh.”_ Mark’s tenor is in perfect pitch. Jaemin forgot how much Mark wanted to pursue a career on music.

The thunder interrupts Mark’s ballad, Jaemin flinching and shutting his eyes again. Mark kisses his eyelids, continuing. 

_“I just wanna see, I just wanna see how beautiful you are…”_ Mark’s cheekbones rise when Jaemin’s eyes reopen at the affectionate lyrics. His voice dulls the hammering rain and resonant thunder, making Jaemin comfortably weary.

_“You know that I see it, I know you're a star. Where you go I follow no matter how far. If life is a movie, oh you're the best part.”_ Mark belts out another run, fingers brushing Jaemin’s chiseled jawline, and Jaemin finds himself falling asleep, ferocious storm completely forgotten. 

_“You're the best part, ohh...best part.”_ Mark whispers the last few words, smiling sadly at Jaemin’s relaxed face. He leans forward and kisses his lips softly, allowing the sleep to overcome him as well.

☼

**TWO WEEKS LATER**

Jaemin flips through the pages of his novel, stealing the occasional glance up at Mark, who was currently honing in on his video game. The two are sitting on the large couch, Jaemin in Mark’s lap, after deciding to have a chill day. They went around the city all day yesterday, and their legs were sore from miles of walking. Jaemin puts his book down and looks out the window at the setting sun. “Hey baby?” he looks up at Mark.

“Hm?” Mark hums, thumbs smashing the buttons on his controller.

“What’s the date today?” Jaemin asks cautiously. Mark sighs knowingly, kissing his forehead. “July 30th.” Mark pauses his game.

Jaemin lets out a shaky breath, realization hitting him. They had 10 days left. Mark groans sadly, placing both hands on Jaemin’s cheeks.

“Minnie, stop it! You promised you wouldn’t countdown. Come on, let's go for a swim, it’s super hot today.” Mark suggests, already standing up.

“Babe I suck at swimming!” Jaemin complains, but stands up nonetheless. 

“Last one in has to wash the dishes tonight!” Mark shouts, bursting through the backdoor and sprinting into the ocean. Jaemin curses and screams, chasing after him. While running, Jaemin yanks his shirt off and gasps loudly when a wave drenches him completely.

Mark cackles, splashing water at a squealing Jaemin. “Guess you have to wash the dishes tonight cutie!” Mark shouts from a distance, running away when Jaemin begins pursuing him. He giggles and shrieks when Jaemin grabs ahold of him and lifts him above the water, waddling deeper into the ocean.

“No! Baby no!” Mark pleads, flailing in the air. Jaemin laughs loudly and hurls Mark’s body into the water with a loud splash. He kneels over from laughter, clenching his stomach. When Mark doesn’t resurface, Jaemin frantically trudges deeper into the water.

“Babe? Mark?” Jaemin shouts worriedly, head whipping around anxiously. Suddenly, Mark breaks through the surface and pulls Jaemin underwater with him with a smile. 

The two reammerge, giggling carelessly. Jaemin pulls Mark close and dives in for a deep kiss. The stay like that, lips locked and bodies pressed together, swaying slightly under the current of the ocean. 

☼

Jaemin shuts off the light of his bathroom and steps out, rubbing a towel through his freshly washed hair. Mark sits on Jaemin’s bed --it's practically _their_ bed at this point-- strumming a few chords on his guitar. Jaemin sits at the end of the bed, watching him in adoration.

Mark closes his eyes, fingers picking at the strings perfectly out of memory. Jaemin sways back and forth slightly, smiling when Mark starts humming. After a few minutes of tranquility, the only sound being their harmonizing hums and the gentle guitar, Mark finishes the original song with a final, melodic strum. 

“That was beautiful baby. Did you write that?” Jaemin crawls up to Mark’s side, hugging his knees to his chest. “Mhm. I named it Minnie. It’s gentle and beautiful, just like you.” Jaemin blushes cheekily, grabbing Mark’s chin and kissing his lips strongly. For whatever reason, the kiss shifts something within both of them. Jaemin pulls back and looks at Mark, whose eyes are already half-lidded. 

Mark pushes the guitar off the bed and pulls Jaemin on top of him, their tongues sliding against each other’s. Jaemin moves from Mark’s mouth to his jaw, kissing and licking his way up to the sensitive spot just under his earlobe. Mark moans breathily, and it only arouses Jaemin more. He kisses down to his neck, slipping his warm hands underneath Mark’s oversized shirt. 

Jaemin sucks on the supple skin of Mark’s neck, marking his virgin skin. His eyes glisten when he sees more bruises start to bloom underneath Mark’s pale skin. Mark is completely gone, his eyes glazed over and pupils blown wide. Jaemin pulls Mark’s shirt off swiftly, diving for the teasing collarbones he had only ever dreamt of marking. 

Mark whines into Jaemin’s ear, getting frustrated at the tight shirt clinging to Jaemin’s torso. Jaemin chuckles, pulling his own top off in one swift motion. Mark stares, he genuinely _stares._

Jaemin grows mildly shy under Mark’s hungry eyes, suddenly becoming self conscious. He brings his arms in front of his body, and Mark immediately snaps his eyes up to look into Jaemin’s doubtful ones. He places a hand on Jaemin’s cheek, rubbing reassuring circles into the soft skin.

“You are so fucking beautiful.” Mark whispers with complete honesty. Jaemin tears up, unwrapping his arms from around his abdomen, completely revealing himself to Mark. The older smiles at Jaemin with such affection, he swears he’s in heaven. 

Jaemin takes a deep breath, sliding an unsure hand up Mark’s thigh. “I love you.” Jaemin purrs into Mark’s mouth, straddling his hips.

Mark’s eyes well up, and a few tears slip through his carefully crafted mask of composure. “I love you too.” Mark says back with equal sincerity.

Mark knows how this will end. He knows he will shatter Jaemin’s heart, along with his own, in a few days time. He knows he can’t be with the boy who was made for him. The world won’t allow it. For some forbidden reason, the stars aren’t aligned, the earth isn’t spinning right, the universe resents them. Jaemin and Mark just simply _aren’t meant to be._

But for this sacred night, Mark decides to let go of his self-control. He decides to remove his mask, and allow the growing cracks to shatter it completely. For this long-anticipated night, all Mark knows, is that he loves Jaemin more than he has ever loved anything in this shitty world. 

On this mellow summer night in Sokcho, South Korea, Mark finally indulges. He indulges in the sweet freedom that is Na Jaemin. 

☼

**SEVEN DAYS LATER**

Mark and Jaemin sit on the warm sand, playing yet another game of chess. The music playing through Mark’s speaker is calming and cheerful. But it isn’t enough to soothe the growing ache of their hearts. 

☼

**ONE DAY LATER**

“Babe, which one should we get?” Jaemin asks as he scans over the fresh fruit. The grocery store is buzzing with people, but Mark wears a baseball cap and face mask to hide his identity. Mark points at a mango, and Jaemin smiles, placing it in the cart. After gathering a few more items, they make their way to the register.

As they stand in line with their cart, Jaemin turns his attention to a certain newspaper article placed on the shelf. His heart sinks when he reads the headline:

**“CEO of Park Industries, Park Kangmin, and CEO of Lee Incorporated, Lee Minsuk, give exclusive details on the much-anticipated wedding of their children Minyoung and Minhyung!”**

“Minnie?” Mark asks, poking Jaemin’s arm and gesturing toward the empty conveyor belt. Jaemin bows apologetically to the cashier and begins placing their items on the belt. He swears he can hear his heart cracking.

☼

**THEIR FINAL NIGHT**

Jaemin zips up his suitcase with a heavy heart, standing up from the floor to stretch his back. He takes a long look at the entirety of his room, the beauty and luxury of it still never ceased to amaze him. A light knock raps on the door, and Mark steps inside, arms behind his back.

“Hey beautiful, guess what I found in my room?” Mark smiles and Jaemin stares at him expectantly. Mark brings his arms in front of him and shows Jaemin a vinyl record. Jaemin beams at him while he walks over to the record player in the corner of them room. The needle drops into the groove of the record, and an instrumental starts, followed by a deep voice. 

_“Wise men say only fools rush in.”_ The voice begins, and Mark smiles widely, pulling Jaemin into his arms. Jaemin giggles, placing one arm around Mark’s neck, and the other in his hand. 

_“But I can't help falling in love with you. Shall I stay?”_

“You are so cheesy, Mark Lee.” Jaemin teases, swaying his body back and forth to the beat. “You love me for it.” Mark states matter of factly, kissing him chastely. “Yes I do.” Jaemin agrees.

_“Would it be a sin, if I can't help falling in love with you?”_

They slowly turn in circles, bodies pressed close together. Jaemin rests his head on Mark’s shoulder, memorizing his intoxicating scent.

“This is to make up for all the dances, homecomings, parties, and proms I could never attend with you.” Mark whispers into his ear guiltily. Jaemin closes his eyes to prevent tears from falling.

_“Like a river flows surely to the sea, darling so it goes, some things are meant to be. Take my hand, take my whole life too, for I can't help falling in love with you.”_

They proceed to step side to side, completely silent, allowing themselves to feel the music, get lost in the words. Mark can tell Jaemin is crying, but he says nothing. He only continues to rub circles into Jaemin’s hand with his thumb. 

_“Like a river flows surely to the sea, darling so it goes, some things are meant to be.”_

Mark steps back, lifting their intertwined hands above Jaemin’s head, causing him to twirl. They smile solemnly at each other, closing the distance once again. 

_“Take my hand, take my whole life too, for I can't help falling in love with you.”_

Mark slides his arm across Jaemin’s back and dips him down. Jaemin keeps his eyes closed, putting complete trust in Mark. Mark slowly leans down and places the softest kiss on his Adam’s apple. Jaemin’s breath hitches when he feels a tear fall onto his burning skin. His weight shifts back onto his feet, and he opens his eyes to stare at Mark’s wet ones. 

_“For I can't help falling in love with you.”_

The music slowly begins to fade out, and they press their foreheads together, silence slowly drowning them. They share a sorrowful kiss filled with their tears, desperation and shared heartbreak. 

☼

Jaemin stands in the doorway, staring back at the spotless beach house that holds so many memories and secrets within its walls. He’ll miss the way the floors shine, the way the chandelier sparkles, the way the couch sinks down in all the right places, the way the carpets are soft enough for sleeping. He’ll miss the never-ending sound of crashing waves, the feeling of warm sand between his toes. He’ll miss the lavish bed and spacious bathroom. But most of all, he’ll miss the boy who’s currently placing their suitcases in the trunk.

“You ready to go Minnie?” Mark shouts from the driveway, and Jaemin mumbles out a futile goodbye, closing the door for the very last time and locking their secrets away. Mark opens Jaemin’s door for him, kissing his cheek before shutting the door.

They intertwine their fingers, and Jaemin’s heart still flutters despite memorizing every line of his palms during these past two months. 

After two hours of confessions, deep conversations, hearty laughs, and saddened silence, they’re back in Seoul. Jaemin can feel his heart beginning to break, piece by piece. 

“Baby, are you sure you don’t want me to drive you home? I feel awful making you take the bus back.” Mark holds Jaemin close, leaning against his car trunk. Jaemin sighs and shakes his head weakly.

“It’s easier this way.” And Mark understands. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small box. Jaemin looks at him quizzically. 

“A parting gift.” Mark says simply, handing him the box. Jaemin gasps and his vision blurs with tears when he opens the lid. Inside is a delicate yet extremely expensive silver bracelet, the letter _‘m’_ dangling beautifully. Jaemin cries out, pulling Mark into a deep kiss. They pull back, faces flushed and eyes red and puffy from crying endlessly the past three days. 

“Thank you. I love you.” Jaemin’s voice cracks devastatingly. 

“And thank _you_ for making me feel free, Minnie. I love you more than the moon loves the stars, never forget that.” Mark replies gently, caressing Jaemin’s face for the last time. 

The bus pulls up to the stop, and Jaemin holds back a sob. 

_“Go.”_ Mark whispers with the little strength he still has, kissing him with all the love and affection he can possibly muster. 

Jaemin let’s go of Mark’s hand with impossibly deep hesitation, and turns his back to his lover. He walks up the steps of the bus with his suitcase, never looking back. 

Mark climbs into his car, his heart shattering completely. His heart wrenching sobs vibrate the windows, and his fist slams down on the steering wheel repeatedly. This is a pain he has never felt before. A pain so great, it can only ever be re-felt if the cause of it is none other than Na Jaemin. 

☼

Jaemin leans his head against the cold window, finger tapping his jewelry box lightly. His tears had run dry by now, he was keeping his composure in order to spare any awkward encounters with the few passengers riding the bus at 6 in the morning. 

He opens the lid, gently pulling the silver chain out of the box. He clasps it around his wrist, running a trembling finger over the sparkling _‘m’_. He closes his eyes to ease the burn of a choked back sob.

The abrupt brake of the bus jolts Jaemin awake. He stands up with shaky knees, rolling his suitcase behind him. He thanks the driver quickly, unsteadily stepping down and off the bus. Jaemin closes his eyes while taking a deep breath, and the bus drives away. 

When he reopens them, relief and despair wash over him. He lets out his first sob that morning. “Oh Nana…” Jeno gasps, standing up from the bus stop bench and pulling him into a bone crushing hug.

Jaemin allows himself to crumble in the arms of his best friend. His entire body convulses and shakes with devastating cries. Jeno can't help but let out tears at Jaemin’s inconsolable state. His soothing shushes and back rubs do little to alleviate the complete and utter _shattering_ Jaemin feels. His chest physically hurts, his blood turns cold, his heartbeat stops, but his tears are infinite. 

Jaemin would’ve collapsed to the floor if not for Jeno’s strong arms around him. His bones have turned to jelly, and his head and throat ache from the painful wailing. The enlarging cavern in Jaemin’s heart that was created by Mark had completely swallowed him whole.

Jaemin spent years trying to move on. He spent years learning how to defuse the bomb that was Mark Lee. But Jaemin was weak. He gave in, and instead tried to prepare himself for the pain of the explosion. 

But nothing could’ve prepared Jaemin for this. This was more than just a simple _explosion._

 

**This was his doomsday.**

**Author's Note:**

> this was my very first fic, so i hope you enjoyed :) i apologize for any mistakes and would greatly appreciate any constructive criticism and feedback! 
> 
> feel free to check out my twitter for my au’s and other work!
> 
>  
> 
> mwah <3
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/rainyjaem)
> 
> [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/rainyjaem)


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